34 Weeks Pregnant

34 Weeks Pregnant:
Weight gain: 13 - 17 lbs (depending on the day. I was fluctuating with water weight!)
----> starting to feel antsy. Starting to feel uncomfortable. My pelvis hurts!  She feels lower and is getting bigger.
----> my visions of swimming laps like a champ up until 40 weeks pregnant were bunked.  I doggy-paddle / side swim down to one end and get winded easily.  My belly feels so weird in the water! When I'm in it I can easily make out every part of her adorable little body. I can distinctly feel knees (which she loves to jab out) whenever I swim on my stomach.

34 Weeks pregnant was definitely an interesting week.
RECAP: Thursday was the first day going to a get-together for Moms in town and I am SO glad I went. They had delicious, amazing food.... great company.... everything was decorated straight off of a Pinterest board, and there was free childare for the kiddos for the 2 hours we were there!  I met some incredible ladies and had a blast while my kids got to get some socialization, too.
You know, so they don't end up turning into socially awkward rejects because we're doing "untraditional schooling" and all WATCH VIDEO HERE
I left the meeting feeling completely refreshed.
Lia was kicking me during the meeting. I got to get dressed up and wear my grey lace dress, leggings, and new brown boots.
I enjoyed some yummy spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing.
I got to laugh with some like-minded ladies and share a little of our lives (ups and downs) and laughs.
I'm so glad I had that little mental pick-me-up because immediately afterwards I got a phone call I had NOT been wanting to get that had started coming the night before.
I had already known it was coming.
It had to happen.
Doesn't make it any easier.
I know that sounds so vague: but.... I just can't share everything here and now.
Just know that someday when I finish my book (when this chapter / story has an ending!) : you'll remember this blog post and you'll get to know the "behind the scenes" of everything. 
Lets suffice it to say that the bigger the mess: the bigger the opportunity for a really, REALLY great turnaround, right?
Anyways. I am glad that I had gotten refreshed before I got the phone call I did. It was hard.
At one hand I felt like my heart was shattering but on the other hand: (as crazy as this sounds) it makes me ..... a little....excited when things are just so unbelievably, ridiculously, unimaginably in such a state of chaos.
why?
Well.  Because I know God's promises. Promises for hope and a future. Promises that love never fails.  Promises to prosper us.  Promises that there will be seasons in our life; and if we are diligent we will reap a proper harvest.
Even if I didn't believe in God. It's scientifically proven: for every action there's an equal and opposite RE-action, correct? Yes. You can't dispute that because those are scientifically proven facts.
So on that theory: if something in life is awfully, AWFULLY bad.... then can't you also take hope in the fact that things (when they take a turn) will be equally and oppositely .... AMAZING...RIGHT? That gives me a little bit of sunshine, too.

So. Things may not be going in a way that I can figure out how or why.... but I'm still ok.
I still feel at peace.
And I'm sure being sick (Christopher picked up a nasty bug at school), getting stressed, and then having that darn shot on Wednesday that my body didn't like did NOT help as I ended up in the ER early Friday morning with terrible, terrible chest pains.
Ha. Maybe it was just a broken heart. Literally.
*knee slapper*
Ok. That's not very funny because that actually might've had something to do with it (although I know it wasn't the whole problem).
Anyways. Things turned out to be fine. They weren't exactly sure what was causing it. 

The next few days have just spent doing a lot of taking time out for myself and taking it very easy. 
Focusing a lot on relaxing and enjoying my boys. 
I know little Lia Bee is going to be here very soon and my life is going to get very, very different.

I do, though. Wish more than anything right now I had my whole family together.
I miss my husband something terrible.
And it seems the bigger my belly gets.... the more I miss him.
I've woken up a few times now and found that I was clutching his flag patch from his uniform or his dog tags or a picture of us. And I don't even know how I got them other than I must've woken up, sleepwalked, and got them sometime during the night.
Every time  I hear the neighbor pull in on his motorcycle or a car pulling into the drive - no matter what time it is - I wake straight up out of my sleep and pull the curtains back to see if it's Rob. 
I just keep thinking he's going to pull into the driveway anytime now and everything will be different.
Maybe that sounds crazy.
I don't really care. 
I just.... more than anything I want my family.
My WHOLE family.
Until then. I'm just over here doing my thing and holding down the fort. 
Waiting (sometimes) patiently. As patiently as I can anyways.
Because here's what I believe:

Love bears all things.
Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things.
Love never fails. 

Thanks for reading
Lots of love.