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...... HOMESCHOOLING?!

I know this isn't the "official" video or post on it:
But I hope this gives you a general idea of why we're choosing to to UNTRADITIONAL SCHOOLING.
Yes: the proper vocabulary usage is "nontraditional" ....
 but I like UNtraditional better. Feels a little more.... UNtraditional!

I decided to do this simply because of our lifestyle: not only do we eat and live differently but we also LOVE to travel!
I believe in having freedom. That freedom is what led me to pursue a different career path. How could I do that and then get tied down into a school system where our lives are literally ruled by school's time and calendar year?
How could I saying that our family time is limited because you can only take off so many days / year without being considered truant?
It was just : a crazy double standard to me.
One that I couldn't live by.

Life is so short: why spend most of your precious childhood indoors? I know from personal experience and from watching my own kids that life goes by so fast.
Why miss it? Why not enjoy it?
Why not see a sunny day and be able to take off and go to the beach instead of being tied to a desk (at school or at work?)
I want to be able to show my kids the freedom to design their own life and then teach them the self-discipline necessary to facilitate that.
I want them to know that just because everybody does it or because society says it's "normal"... doesn't mean that you have to follow suit and just go with the flow.
YOU can choose to be different.
YOU can choose your own path.
YOU can design your life.

That's my hope for my kids anyways.
So here's a little sneak peek into what's going on so far!
(PS - we started kindergarten with Christopher in the summer and he's HALFWAY done with the curriculum already!)

Thanks for watching!
and please: know that IF you have your kids in school....
I am in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM trying to make you feel bad!!!!!
No no no!!!!
Homeschooling is NOT for everyone!
This was just a very personal decision. One that I, PERSONALLY, struggled with.
And up until a time ago I thought people who homeschooled were outcast weirdos and homeschooling meant you had to dress them in khakis and bake pumpkin pie all day and never do anything cool.
I had NO idea it was do-able.... much less fun (and rewarding!)
So I wanted to shed light on that.
I completely respect every parent's decision and I absolutely appreciate the respect I get with the decision that I have made!  You all are fantastic.

Trippy Rainbow Relaxation Experience! Office Re-arranging and Weekend Stuff

TIMEHOP:

Aw.... 3 years ago today we were unpacking everything to move into our new house in Niceville, FL.

Christopher decorated Ryan with stickers.

Oh, how I miss Florida and can't wait to move back someday!

So in case you haven't read my blog on it: I'm at WEEK 35 in pregnancy!
Here's how my first night of listening to "Rainbow Relaxation" went.... 
I'm not sure if anybody else has experienced anything like this: but I certainly wasn't expecting it!
Like I said in the video.... this is my brain NOT on drugs. Can you even imagine it if I were?! Oh my gosh. No. Nope. 

Let me recap my "Rainbow Relaxation" experience: 
(if you watch the video below I explain it a little more.... it was....INTERESTING!)
I floated through some violet mist towards 
this beautiful, peaceful, relaxing stream in the middle of nowhere.  I just watched the sparkly blue water until I decided to
stroll across the lush green grass into the green forest where I finally found a beautiful, soft patch of green moss to lay down on.  As I lay on the moss I looked up and saw the 
warm sunshine with it's beautiful rays of warm light just shining down on me. I laid there and felt the warmth on my face and cheeks until I decided to get up and
walk a little until I came to this clearing in the woods filled with orange poppies.  The flowers were so pretty and I just watched them for awhile before finally
floating up into the clouds. 


Today I am re-arranging the office downstairs. 
This cozy house. Oh it's like tetris!
Even though it's 1/3 the size of our old house.... I can't complain because it's exactly what we need right now. And I know we won't live here FOREVER. 
Here's what I repeat to myself:
"be faithful with the little things and you will be made ruler over much"
it's essentially the "prosper where you're planted" philosophy and one of the laws of nature. 
If you want to be given more (bigger, better) then you have to be trusted with what you have first!
.... so that means taking care of this wonderful, adorable, cozy, tiny little house until it one day leads up into taking care of my "dream house"! This right here is just practice.
Plus it's REALLY forcing my creative side to come out as I try to fit everything just right in it's place.


My mom took the boys to the Adventure Center this morning so I could get some stuff done.
Which also included giving myself a fabulous new (NONTOXIC) manicure.
Excuse me.... "jamicure" ;) 
Oh I'm so glad I found these. 
And my  Jamberry consultant. She's so awesome!
Seriously: she's the best. So if you're looking for a place to order these / try these out you have to get them from her!
And I LOVE being able to support moms and wives in business. Doesn't that make more sense than just throwing your money at big corporations like Wal-Mart? 
(PS - I'm cheap. It's no secret. You all know I will hunt down a good deal and I RARELY EVER ever EVER buy anything that's not on clearance or at a discount....
But DON'T buy knockoff nail wraps from a store. They DO NOT come anywhere close. Mine peeled off within 2 days! TOTAL Waste of money!)
So if you haven't tried these yet you can get in touch with her HERE (yay she just got a facebook page going!) to try a sample or place your order (if you click the last link it'll take you straight to her site) She's fantastic!  Her name is Cindell. 
"Like" her page and tell her Sara sent you over.... maybe she'll throw in something extra special ;)


anyways. 

I also took some fun pictures today. I was loving my belly!
I figure I have to treasure and cherish it these last couple of weeks while I still have it because I am going to miss it when it's gone!  She's so peaceful and beautiful and wonderful already. 
I can't wait to meet my princess <3 











Oh.... by the way.
If you've ever gotten completely frustrated by the fact that your kids are just.... AGH!
No attention span. 
They can't play with something longer than 5 minutes.
Every night its 30 minutes to an hour of cleanup that HAS to be supervised by you ending up in disorganized chaos and you wanting to pull your hair out....
then I HIGHLY recommend doing a toy purge and just getting rid of EVERYTHING.
Or.... most of it and only keeping a very very few select amount of educational items.
It's been AMAZING!
More on my entire experience with this later and how exactly it went down.....

but long story short:
the kids play outside for HOURS at a time now and occupy themselves.
They have plenty of outside toys but what did they spend 2.5 hours playing with the other day?
Boxes. BOXES. B-O-X-E-S my friend. Making them into houses, pirate ships, you name it. 
Ahhh but they're so deprived my children :) 
Look at him all happy and stuff. 

Thanks for reading and following along on our family's journey!

35 Weeks Pregnant with Baby #3

Here: let's do a little fun comparison...

here was me at 33 weeks with Christopher, 33 and then 35 weeks with Ryan :) 

(FYI: Christopher was 10 lbs 3 oz at birth and Ryan was 10 days early and 8 lbs 6 oz.... so had he gone full term he would've been very near 10 lbs, too!)

I, personally, do not feel as large as I did with either of the boys! 

I feel much more like how I was at 31 weeks with them. 

Maybe that's because I've been swimming this pregnancy and just feel better in general (not as sore and more energy!) or HOPEFULLY it's an indicator that the little princess is going to be a wee bit smaller in size than those big brothers of hers. 

PREGNANCY STATS:

- weight gain: approximately 15 lbs 

- she is head down and moves A LOT!

- Lia is very scheduled. She moves at certain times. Sleeps at specific times. I feel she is a peaceful baby with a mellow yet adamant spirit. I don't think it's going to be ANYTHING like what I experienced with the boys. She wakes at 4, 7, and 10 pm. Then from around 11:30 / midnight until 7:30 / 8:00 a.m. she is..... sleeping. 

- cravings: none

- cold: FINALLY completely gone

- still swimming (well...who am I kidding....still FLOATING!)  Next week I have us booked for 6 days of swimming. I want to be ready for labor / delivery!

- started drinking my delicious third trimester / labor prep tea and started Evening Primrose Oil regimen more on that here

- NESTED. Got baby's stuff all ready and the complete last of things was ordered for her. 

(batteries for swing, bottles washed and ready, still need to completely pack / re-pack labor bag, though)

I have also started doing some "birth affirmations".  Sounds corny, I know. 

But seriously: when I was pregnant with Christopher and during the labor / delivery I learned a lot about myself. I learned to trust my body instinctively. Prior to this week I tried to take 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes before bed to just silently lay there and think about little baby. Now I'm actively visualizing everything and a good labor. I REALLY want her to come out in a state of peace. I do not want a repeat colic baby like with  Ryan. Kid cried every waking moment and was in a baby carrier between 16 and 22 hours PER DAY for his first 3 months of life. The doctors actually kicked me out of the ER because he had such extreme colic but there was nothing medically wrong and nothing they could do for me. Yep.  So: I want a peaceful baby and I want to do everything I possibly can to ensure I get one :) 

Anyways. 

I also really want to do this labor / delivery naturally. 

I just think: why not.

I mean: I won't kick myself if I end up with an epidural or something comes up.

I just really feel I want to try out this whole self-affirming hypno thing I'm trying out. 

Harnessing the inner warrior goddess of untapped potential. 

Ok - not that extreme. But: you get it ;) 

I just had such a beautiful experience when Christopher came out and it's a memory I'll remember forever and ever and ever just absolutely imprinted on my heart.

With Ryan? Yeah. I didn't have that. 

And I want it again.

Anyhow. Off to bed for me and the munchkin.

Tomorrow's plans: working online on my site and getting everything set up so after I have her I can easily transition back into working from home with the right foundation.

Then you all can follow my post-baby body journey! (or whatever you want to call it!)

Thanks for reading and following along my journey. 

You might also be interested in:

-- Name Reveal

-- 34 weeks (baby #2)

-- 35 weeks (baby #1) Oh my gosh.... I can't believe how different I am now!  I was so ....shy back then! PS - DO NOT USE THAT LAUNDRY DETERGENT FROM MY VIDEO! AGHHH!!!

.....how little I knew then.  WWW.NONTOXICDIVA.COM 

Feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you'd like!

It's where I put out new videos, random life moments, updates.... etc. 

Pretty much anything going on and then I organize them into playlists.

Been vloggin' since 2009! Can't believe how much things have changed since then....

Appointment Update (34 Weeks) and HILARIOUS Story From Yesterday "Tattoo in Fur" ....

I REALLY don't feel like typing everything today:
so you'll have to check out the video below! :)
Long story short: my hunch yesterday that I posted in this video (click to watch) WAS RIGHT! 

...and Lia is going to have to come in 4 weeks....
I KNOW.
"Baby will come when she's ready." 
"Don't rush it."
"You know: it's good to keep them in there as long as possible!" 
Rest-assured: I am not trying to go into labor in the next week or two.
 BELIEVE ME. I am soaking this all up!

But for a couple GOOD reasons I would like to go a little early.
1.)  Given my medical history / problems during delivery and history of large babies (Christopher was 10 lbs and had Ryan gone until his due date he would've been 10 lbs, too!) it would be VERY beneficial to Lia and I BOTH if she came a little earlier and was a WEE BIT SMALLER. 
Simply because I want to avoid a c-section as much as possible and I want my waterbirth!

.... which means I cannot have a big baby. Or they won't let me attempt delivery.

2.) And - I know this may be slightly self-ish - but my doctor will be out of town the last week of October until (I believe) November 1st or 2nd..... yeah. 
Obviously she's the only doctor I've been seen by, she knows my pregnancy, is VERY familiar with my history.... and I REALLY don't want to have some random doctor delivering Lia! 

Here's my thought:
 How fabulous to even have her on the 18th. Then the photographer that I SO BADLY WANT could even be there as well ;) 
So keep that in your thoughts / prayers. I'd like that to happen. hahaha
ok - got that Lia? 18th. Let's do this. :)

Directly below is the video overview and then below THAT video is the HILARIOUS thing that Christopher told some random lady in the store yesterday.... I couldn't even believe it.

Baby #3 : "Fun" Facts & How The Name Was Picked

In case you haven't already seen it:
you'll want to check out the last blog (click here) to watch the name reveal video.
But THIS blog is specifically for some interesting facts you might not know about Baby #3 (how she came to be) and HOW her name was picked out!

It's a pretty cute story. Obviously we were NOT trying for a baby.... um. No.
I had JUST moved into my house up here in WI and he was / is still in MO and planning to get out of the military.
I mean: honestly it was the WORST possible timing ever for a baby.
Did I mention the fact that we were / are separated? Yeah. So this pregnancy was obviously not planned.
I know: if you're new to the blog here I probably just dropped a total bombshell on you. So you'll probably want to backtrack and go read my featured blogs: Why I Walked Away and The Monster in my Marriage so you have some background info here!  Let's just say: I didn't leave because I wanted to or because I hate my husband. None of that.  I love that man and I want nothing more than to have our family!  But... unfortunately... anyways. Just read the blogs!

I never thought I would have kids.  I always saw other people's kids and it completely grossed me out.
All snot-nosed and crusty.  Just the thought of having to be responsible for another life was completely repulsive to my sort've self-ish nature (at the time). How would I ever be able to have a successful career if I was stuck at home wiping butts all day?  I mean SERIOUSLY!  And why in the world would I ever WANT to knowingly put myself through 9 months of (what I perceived as) torturous weight-gain, stretch marks, and physical pain?
No.  I was positive that I would never have kids.  Just the thought of pregnant bellies made me want to pass out because I have this very odd phobia of bellybuttons and.... ew.  When they stick out.  Yuck. I did NOT want to ever be pregnant. I thought maybe someday I would adopt. Maybe.

Well: HA HA HA.  Obviously there were other plans in store for my life.
 (And boy -- am I HAPPY about that!)
But seriously.... how things changed.
And how I finally knew the feeling of actually WANTING to have kids with somebody.
I remember when we were living at our house out in the country: a huge wooden house on 48 acres of land... completely surrounded by nothing. I remember washing dishes and looking out the window and there was my husband standing there on the patio.  And: I can't explain it but in that moment I saw him and just felt OVERWHELMED with this incredible amount of love that made my heart want to burst.  In that moment I KNEW what it felt like to actually want to have kids with someone!  I remember dropping the dishrag and just running out the back door to him and giving him a huge hug. (This was around the time he had gotten back from PTSD treatment. A time when we honestly had nearly 4 months of.... well... it was just amazing.  It's what our marriage COULD be. And it's also a reminder that you need to constantly work at it.  If I could go back: I would sell everything we had to make sure he continued to get counseling and help)
 Anyways: we already had Christopher and Ryan and up until then I never knew if I wanted more kids: but in that moment I was sure. And I just saw him.  I saw him with a little girl. I could completely picture it.
 I don't know how to describe this but sometimes I have little flashforwards. Is that what you'd call them?  Because they're not flashBACKS. But I just: I see things sometimes!  (hopefully that doesn't sound TOO weird! It's not all Sixth Sense, "I See Dead People" kind of thing" ....)

Anyways. He sort've laughed at me a little.  We had talked about it back and forth before - JOKINGLY - but it just wasn't the right time.  We had already started hearing the boys in their little rooms at night praying for a sister.  I stood outside the door one night and went to get Rob (my husband) out of the living room so he could listen, too.  Little 3.5 year old Christopher and 1.5 year old Ryan were in their room talking to each other about daddy going to "find" a sister (they thought every time he went out into the woods that he was going to look for one).  And there was Christopher... just praying away for a little sister so they could play with her and brush her hair.

Christopher prayed for a whole year. There was even one point where I was praying, too.  I thought.... well.  Anyways. Sounds ridiculous. So I won't type it. I'll share later. Maybe in my book. Too much to write here!  Anyways. It didn't happen.

I cried and cried. And I cried some more.
I couldn't see how they would ever have a little sister after I left and he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. That stung.

And then: well.
It's sort've weird.
So as you know Rob was down in Missouri yet.
I moved up here: I went down in January to get all of my stuff out of our home in Missouri. 
(Worst and hardest things I have EVER had to do. In my life. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up and cry all at the same time). Anyways: I was up here and he was stressed and sad and upset and hurt. 
And I don't blame him. He couldn't understand why I left. I couldn't help him. I needed time to just heal myself.
 Then to make it worse he found out that one of his favorite Uncles had passed away.  It was a complete shock. He had (seemingly) been in perfect health: he had 3 young boys (9,7, and 5).  
And boom: he had a heart attack. 
So the only reason he (Rob) came up here was for his uncle's funeral.
(At this point I was so stressed. SO unimaginably stressed.  I wanted my husband and marriage more than anything in the world but for whatever inexplicable reason I KNEW I had to stay put and that I had made the right decision. Try explaining THAT one to your spouse and expect them to just say, "ok") 
I don't even know how I made it through the day those first couple of months on my own. 
I was completely emotionally wore out. It took everything I had to be  mom and get through the day.
  Probably why I was also in the hospital 3x and having heart problems.

Anyways: he was coming up here.  So we met in the Dells. I was nervous and sick about it all at the same time.  I wanted to see him; but yet... I didn't.  I knew it would hurt too much.  and it was going to hurt to have to say, "No. I need to stick with my decision." because I knew it would hurt him.  And I was in such a weird place. I was trying to bury my feelings and do anything I can to NOT feel because I thought that if I did then... well. I knew I would end up back in MO and it was NOT the right time because I had to make some changes for myself!  Anyways. The only reason he came back was for the funeral: like I said.

I had asked him to stay at a hotel when he was in the area (I knew it would be too hard for me to have him with us!) but then Weird Thing #1 : his bank cards were declined and so were mine because we were traveling.... so there was no money and he HAD to stay with me. 
Yeah.  That was .... I was scared. To have him here. I didn't want to "feel" anything anymore.... and this COMPLETELY broke through my barriers. 
(But it was also the best blessing in disguise)

So he came to stay: we had our moments & NO it was not all "fairy-tale"ish.... but: I started to think....  just maybe there's a reason for all of this. Just maybe this is part of the plan.

A couple days after he got into town we attended his uncle's funeral together.
It was so difficult to see his aunt and those three little kids up there. 
Knowing they would never be able to see their dad.
Knowing she would never get to hold her husband again and just hear him say, "I love you."
It broke my heart. But: it also opened it.
I realized I didn't want to quit.
I realized - in that moment (of all places) - that I loved the man next to me more than anything in the world and I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to lose my husband, I didn't want my kids to lose their dad, and I didn't want my family to be torn apart by ANYTHING that could be helped, prevented, or fixed.

It was there in that church when I took his hand... him wearing his suit... me wearing my black dress.
Watching everyone cry.  Feeling such intense sadness but such love in his strong hand as I glanced over at him. I knew in that moment what I wanted. My heart just welled up.
Nothing else mattered. 
It didn't matter what anyone thought. What I thought. I just knew.
And that was a defining moment for me.  Up until then I was plagued by indecision. 
That is NOT an understatement.
Indecision can LITERALLY take you to low places.  It blows you back and forth.
You have no grounding. You feel like you're spinning out of control.
"wishy-washiness".
Should I leave? Should I stay?
Indecision is the worst torment.
I didn't know if I could ever "feel" again. But the moment I made the DECISION to feel. 
The moment I made the DECISION to love no matter what and give it my all:
 that's when everything changed.

See what I learned was this.  Probably one of the most powerful life lessons I've ever learned and I want to share it with you:
Feelings follow action. Action follows decision.
You're not always going to FEEL intensely in love with someone.
That's where you still make the decision to love them anyways. 
And you know what? Your FEELINGS will follow!
.... more on this later. I've learned SO MUCH about it..... I can't wait to share.
When I do the blog post on it. I'll post the link HERE. 


So a couple days after the funeral...(TMI part!)
I remember thinking to myself: "huh. This is weird. I almost feel like I'm having ovulation cramps. " even though I had JUST had my period. Literally. 3 days before that. And my cycles have been regular since I was 14! 28 and 32 days ovulating at 14th day and the 16th day.  I know my body.
So I remember thinking that and telling Rob and he was like, "No. You're not"
Well then it was the night or two before he was supposed to leave and we were watching a movie in the living room when we hear this awful crunching scraping noise. And we look out the living room window (over the5 foot high snowbank) and he says, "I think somebody just backed into my car!  They're doing a hit and run!"
"Luckily" it was just the neighbor's daughter.... long story short: we're pretty sure it was on purpose. DOESN'T MATTER. Whatever. But the problem?  His car wasn't driveable.  He had to take it in to have it repaired.
So.... that was odd thing #4. (The others were his uncle passing away unexpectedly and then his bank cards getting declined and then me feeling like I ovulated a week early: which I DID!)

And needless to say: yes. we did..... you know. ANYWAYS! 

Well: fast-forward a couple weeks and I was in Florida with my mom and the boys for vacation.
I could smell things I couldn't usually smell. 
And I had this oddly happy, carefree feeling that I usually only had when I was pregnant. 
But I thought, "No. No way!  There's NO WAY I ovulated an entire week early!"
So I texted Rob anyways. "Hey. I think I might be a couple days late. I think I might be pregnant"
And I called him. And he was like, "No. You're not pregnant. Remember how many times you thought that before? Just go get a test and call me back or something."
and I remember thinking. "Ok. Yeah. He's right. False alarm." ..... but inside I just knew.
So I left my mom and boys at the hotel and went to clean out the car (aka drive to Walgreens and get some prego tests and then proceed to drive across the freeway to the WaWa gas-station just so it wasn't SO obvious!)

I have footage from that first day and immediately after I found out.  I haven't shared my initial reaction with ANYONE yet!  

And THAT'S WHEN I saw those 2 pink lines.

After the shock wore off.... I was excited.
And I remember calling Rob. And he was excited.
(my hormonal anger outburst from the previous day made PERFECT sense! Oh my gosh.... I was pregozilla....a complete and total crazy, angry b****!!! I was TERRIBLE! And I remember thinking: what the HELL is wrong with me?!  Why am I so cranky?!  I feel like I have road rage!)

Then I called to make my OB appointment and they asked me the first day of my last period. 
And it was July 28th. The day his uncle passed away. 
Which is TECHNICALLY the day they start counting your pregnancy from.
So that was odd.
And then I thought about it: the ONLY reason I got pregnant (I knew my date of conception) was because he was up there for the funeral, his bank cards were declined, my body over-rode it's 10-year-long stretch of ALWAYS being "on-time" and I ovulated an ENTIRE WEEK EARLY and because his car had gotten backed into and he had to stay in town longer than expected.
Sort've .... bizarre when you think about how everything is connected.

WELL: 
there's a little inside info that I doubt anybody knew up until this point!
Now onto the actual "how her name got picked" portion of the blog!
Let me just say that I ABSOLUTELY wanted Viviana Claire.
Viviana means "full of life" and Claire means "clear, brilliant"
I wanted to call her Vivi! 
Rob picked some more.... traditional Polish and Russian names. (Our last name is VERY Russian)
Ok. For starters let's just remember some of the names he chose for Ryan (had we not settled on Ryan)
-- Sherman
-- Floyd
-- Steve
-- Pierce
-- Howard 
-- Charles
.......... need I say more? We obviously have very DIFFERENT tastes when it comes to names.

(had this little one been a boy he found the name "Bogdan" and really liked it ......) Oh my. Definitely unique... I will say that much!

But I have been picking out little girl names ever since I was little!  So obviously I wanted to be the one to name her.

Well I loved Viviana Claire.
Or Audrey Claire.  Or Audrey Elizabeth.
If I ever had twin girls I wanted to name them Natali Victoria and Viviana Nicole. (See what I did there flip-flopping the "N" and "V" names?) Well when I found out it wasn't twins those went off the table. 
When I asked Rob he threw in names such as:
Ivana. Roxana. Alejca (a Polish name and variation for "Alice" which is his Grandma's Name). Mary (his Grandma's name) 
A couple were very nteresting. And - of course- it was precious that he wanted to name her after his Grandmas.

Well. Were we both in for a surprise.

So THAT is exactly how her name got to be picked out!
I guess I will just have to get a fish and name it Viviana Claire.
I have to say, though: I wouldn't have it any other way.
Nothing may ever go according to plan.... but that's life.
It's a little un-traditional.
It's absolutely unpredictable.
But I still love it and I'm grateful for it every single day!

thanks for reading!

UPDATE : 31 Weeks + No More Contractions!

We are so blessed by the amount of people surrounding us who are supportive and always keeping us in your thoughts / prayers. I am especially thankful for all of you last night because all of the prayers / thoughts worked!
I woke up this morning after EIGHT SOLID HOURS of sleep with no contractions.
I knew if I could get my body to relax enough to sleep that it would be what it needed to stop it. 
For some reason; my body thinks the 30-32 week mark is a great time to try and go into labor.  It happened at the same time in pregnancy with both of the boys: with Christopher (my first) I ended up going in twice and they were able to stop it by administering the T-shot (Terbutaline). Now - it being my first baby / pregnancy - I had NO idea ... I didn't even question it!  But since then and becoming more health conscious and aware ... I know that it is NOT something you want to be given.  Especially not for me (with a heart condition) as it has been known to cause serious side effects in that department.

Check out the link to the website HERE : which also includes a special warning about no longer administering it to prevent preterm labor. 

With Ryan I was in the hospital already for high-risk complications when I began experiencing preterm labor (I did NOT have an easy pregnancy with him like I am having with this little girl!)  and I honestly can't even remember what they did.  I want to say they DID end up administering the T-shot but ... it was such a whirlwind. We went to my high-risk doctor appointmentt 2 hours away and I ended up being admitted (unexpectedly) into the hospital and they were telling me they might be giving me shots to speed his growth because I might be delivering him early...  It was a crazy, CRAZY 36 hours. 

This time around, after knowing what I know now, I wanted to try to stop labor naturally.
I'd been feeling "off" for a couple days: headache and just in general under the weather (like I mentioned below in the first status update) and I thought it was the flu or something! I had noticed my Braxton Hicks Contractions increased in amount over the past couple of days but thought nothing of it. Then I experienced insomnia (which I've experienced in my third trimester before) for a couple of nights... but just thought it was normal! Then yesterday I woke up in the middle of the night shaky, nauseous, with a terrible TERRIBLE headache, and hot flashes. By yesterday afternoon / evening I didn't have a fever and hadn't been able to get much food down: thankfully my vegan shake mix came in the mail so I was at least able to drink that.  I decided to try to go to the pool just to float around and relax... when I was in the pool I started to actually notice that the contractions were a little.... stronger... than before.

After an hour I started to time them out of curiosity...25-30 minutes apart. So I went home, relaxed / lounged with the boys and watched Where The Red Fern Grows... but they kept coming. Not "painful" painful.. but just noticeable.  I also had some other unpleasant experiences as a result of the contractions ..... not going to share! haha. But ladies: you know what I'm talking about if you've ever had menstrual cramps: and you know what also goes along with cramping down there.... ick.
  I knew I needed to relax.  I put the boys to bed, took a bath, used some aromatherapy, played soothing music.  When they hit 9-12 minutes apart is when I got a little.... nervous. I called my mom and the Labor & Delivery who wanted me to drink some more water and if they hadn't stopped within the hour; the nurse said with my history I needed to come in. SO: I posted THIS status update: 

and .... this sounds funny but it's something I've learned to practice.... is I just asked my body what it needed.
(Yes. Hippie things).  
But think about it: the body is this genius, intricate supercomputer that knows exactly what it needs.  We just need to learn to turn off our mind sometimes (stop overthinking everything!) and just get in tune with it. I've done this before.... been doing this for about a year... and it usually works. 
In order for this method to work you're supposed to "meditate" and then go with whatever pops into your head first. Well... I don't know what they mean necessarily by meditate... I envision people sitting in a dark room with their legs crossed humming "ommm" ... but that's just me! haha. 
So for my version I relax (which involves hopping into the tub). I cleared my head and was like: ok. What do I need right now. and I went with the 3 things popped into my head: 
1.) sleep 
2.) venison snack stick 
3.) Tylenol / Benadryl . 

Honestly: I didn't even question it. 
I was like: ok. You got it chach.
So I got up, unthawed some of the venison sticks in my freezer that Rob had brought, ATE TWO (big deal considering everything all day made me nauseous) and - for whatever reason - I took Tylenol and Benadryl. Don't ask me.  I hate over-the-counter meds but at this point: I was going to try anything. 
Then I got some essential oils (camphor - always relaxes me) and rubbed it on my shoulders and nose. 
I laid back in bed and turned on my positive tunes playlist and put the music next to my belly (you know - so she could hear it and RELAX a little!) 
After 2 songs I felt her shift in my stomach. Just COMPLETELY change positions.  It was the weirdest feeling... but after that I felt so relaxed and I fell sound asleep.... and didn't wake up until 8 hours later.  Ryan must've came in and he was sleeping next to me with his hand on my belly. (he loves his sissy already! It's so, so so precious!)

Called the doc this morning and my appointment has been moved up from Friday; but I'm sure it's going to be the same as it was with the instructions with the boys for the rest of pregnancy:
-- relax
-- drink MORE fluids
-- relax
-- avoid stress
-- relax
.... so I think I can handle that! 
Yes it would be easier with someone here helping... but... such is life :)
Instead of focusing on what I DON'T have... I am very grateful for what I DO have.
It helps put things in perspective!  I know I talked about that in my other blog from the other day.
Despite everything I am actually very much at peace: with this pregnancy and in general.
I just have a very great sense of calm about everything.  It actually surprises me a little!

SO: thank you guys.  I will keep everyone posted!
And in the meantime trying natural methods to help calm down my apparently "cranky" uterus.
Things that worked for me in the past:
-- Red Raspberry Infusion 
and something I found on the Natural Birth Blog AND something two facebook friends shared with me: Cramp Bark Tincture. It's supposed to be very effective. 
Will keep you posted!
I am determined to cook this bun in the oven a little longer.

The Jazz Festival & What I've Been Working On!

Ahhh.... 

I'm excited to announce that I am feeling much, MUCH better in the past 3 days since having to succumb to some allergy medication. *ugh. 

But it's nice to wake up and not have this terrible groggy, fog hanging over me all day!

I will be happy when that evil golden plant that is lining the ditches in massive amounts dies off from the cold and stops spreading it's pollenous pollutants all up into my nostrils! (aka ragweed)

This morning I woke up at 4 a.m. ready to rock.  

Seriously: I finally fell asleep probably around midnight so I knew 4 hours technically shouldn't have been enough for me... but after laying in bed for an extra 50 minutes (with an adorably cute little munchkin who decided he needed some snuggles this morning) I couldn't take it anymore!  So I hopped out of bed, started the coffee pot, and got to blogging.

Perhaps all of my excitement from FINALLY getting to the point of ALMOST revealing what I've been working SO hard (and quietly) on in my spare time is getting to me!

Many of you know I like to blog.

I like to blog. And shop. 

Annnnd.... fun prints and things that sparkle and "treasure hunting" for deals....

and "hippie" things (healthy, organic, nontoxic) as well as fitness.

....and I like to shop online, too. Did I mention that?

I also love all things business. I mean.... I like making money.

Thing is: I just am not a "traditional" 9-5 j-o-b kind of girl.

I also love helping people (and myself. Personal development, baby!)

So how in the heck to roll ALL of that into one, right?

.... there was my problem.

Then I got this crazy idea over a year ago.  Thing was: with everything going on in my personal life and moving a billion times.... I let myself get overwhelmed and THIS got put on the backburner.

But recently I just felt like: now's the time!  So I've been working hard! 

My crazy idea was to roll all of my passions and hobbies into one.

Ok ok ok. You got me.
I hate secrets! I'm too excited! Here's a sneak peek... but you can't go viral sharing it yet or anything.... because I'm still working on it and I'm sure not all of the links work... YET!
 It's called www.nontoxicdiva.com and it's my blog / hub for all things that I love! 

Anywho: that's probably why I got up so early today and got a jumpstart on my day!

Now the boys are FINALLY waking up (8:30... whoa. They slept in!) and I plan on getting a little inspiration today and going for a drive.  I drive out into nature. By a lake. I like to dream a bit.... and I dream best in the morning.

I'm curious: how do YOU get inspired?

OH and here are some photos I took last night at the jazz festival we went to in downtown Stevens Point. Want to know what i like about living around here? Running into people (I actually WANT to see). Yes!  I ran into an old friend from high school.  I just love her. Maybe I can con her into taking me shopping because she was so darn cute and trendy in her dress and boho bag and oversized glasses! It's nice being able to run into people and see a familiar face every now and again. That NEVER happened living as a military family far, far away from home in a galaxy far, far away. Oh wait.... sorry. My Star Wars just eeked out a little. OOPS! 

I swear: I only had ONE CUP of coffee this morning!

Hope you all are enjoying fall!  Labor day today. 
And the start of my last month without baby!
(By the end of next month baby will be here. OH. MY. GOODNESS!)

p.s. I'm pumped. The pool finally re-opens tomorrow!  I NEED to get my swim on.
For the first time in this entire pregnancy my back started to ache yesterday and I know it's because I haven't been able to swim for 9 days!

OH - by the way.
check out what the boys are wearing on their feet in the first picture, there!
They wanted to SHARE a single pair of shoes (christophers green crocs) and then "match" by each wearing their rainboots ;)  How cute is that, right?!  And how can you say no?
So... yes. As you can see from the pictures above. I totally let them wear that in public.

31 Weeks Pregnant : Baby Number 3

I cannot believe I am 31 weeks pregnant.

Seems like just last week I was finding out on my trip to Orlando in the bathroom of a Wawa gas station! (Don't ask me why. ... gas stations seem to be a popular place for me to pee on a stick! I found out with Christopher in the bathroom of kwik trip).

I do have the live footage of me finding out immediately and my reaction.
If I get enough comments / interest maybe I'll post it! ;) ..... you can DEFINITELY tell it's raw footage and I was. .... a LITTLE SHOCKED to say the least!

Things to do yet:
- find a rock-n-play that I like
- install carseat
- prepare labor bag / diaper bag
... its weird not having a nursery to decorate. But I'm ok with it for now!  Since I nursed for a couple months neither of the boys slept in their rooms for the first couple of months anyways.
I will be SUPER excited to finally get into a place and decorate a room for her,  though!

CRAVINGS: ...none. (still can't stand lettuce or spinach, though. So weird)
COMPLAINTS: a little tired & extra hormonal. ... but that's it.
She moves like crazy, though!
I've never experienced anything like it.

I think she is going to be very scheduled yet mellow baby. Since 20 weeks her sleeping / waking has been extremely regimented. At night she moves around 4 pm, 7 pm, and 10 pm. Then from midnight to 8 a.m. all is quiet! Hence the reason I get 6-8 hrs of sleep at night still (no - I don't wake to pee!)  I would be ok if this continued ;) after the last two this momma could stand a break!

(Fun fact: I actually got kicked out of the doctor with Ryan and they told me there was nothing they could do: that I would just have to wait it out because medically he was fine! It was just the worst case of colic they'd ever seen. Yeah.... I don't talk about that period much. It was INTENSE!)

Hope Y'ALL are enjoying the beginning of fall ;)
(I can say that now since I officially lived in the south for 4 years)

Would love to connect with you! 

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Instagram: @evolvesara