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CLICK HERE ----> www.saramichaels.com

UNSEEN FOOTAGE!!! ----> What's My Channel About @ sboell002

I think some of you know that I have been vlogging (fancy term for "Video Blogging") since 2009 when I got pregnant with Christopher!
I started because I wanted to have a way to remember stuff AND because I wasn't living in the same area as my family and friends so it was a fun way to keep them posted.
Well .... little did I know it would turn into more and turn into YEARS of vlogging!
Lots of my videos outside of pregnancy were just random life updates and some monthly montages....
and then with this pregnancy life is SO CRAZY and there just didn't feel like that much to report on baby number three.
However... I still wanted to do something fun and unique.
So I decided to do daily vlogs : countdown to baby until she gets here!
Which... could be in a week and a half. Two weeks. Heck it could be another month from now!
I guess we'll find out!

ALSO: I found my footage from when I first found out I was pregnant
REMEMBER: I had already left and was on VACATION IN FLORIDA when I found out.
I actually left my mom and boys at the hotel to go "clean out the car".
And .... I found out for a SECOND TIME in a gas station bathroom that I was pregnant.
So here is some of the NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE of my literal INITIAL REACTION.

Oh yeah. It's legit.
Hope you enjoy!
And stay tuned to THIS PLAYLIST right here for me Countdown to Baby Daily Vlogs!
Thanks for watching :)

The $100 Lesson That My Phone Taught Me

CLICK HERE to go to NEW BLOG!

As most of you (hopefully) have already figured out: I've been "solo parenting" for nearly a year now.... by choice.
Unfortunately the hardest one I've ever had to make.
I hate the term "single mom" because I'm not technically single.  I just dislike it.

LINKS: Why I Walked Away   and    Monster in my Marriage
(you will be taken to the NEW ProjectEvolveLife Blog!)

If you haven't been to the blog before or you want a little insight as to WHY I Walked Away:
those two posts might be helpful.
And before you start reading: it's not because I hate my husband or because he's some terrible person.
Quite the opposite, in fact. Which is why it was incredibly hard.
I love that man and we miss him every single day.... more than he can ever imagine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday was a rough day.
It's been a little bit more of an emotional roller coaster the past month and it's definitely been a fight to stay grounded, focused, and positive. It honestly takes time during the day where I have to simply focus on staying in the right mindset otherwise I could easily get swept away by the feelings and emotions that I'm having. (Some of which I am quite sure are due to surging hormones!)
I have to remember that I'm not ALWAYS going to have a belly that gets uncomfortably in the way of doing dishes: so instead of complaining.... just sit down and enjoy it because in a few weeks that little bump housing my princess will be gone and I'll miss it.
Instead of focusing on not having somebody there to cuddle up next to I have to think of how grateful I am that I can be 9 months pregnant (nearly) and able to sprawl out and take up the ENTIRE bed.
See what I mean? I've literally had to shift my thinking.

Things have not been easy: far from it!
But I've taken comfort in the fact that no pain is wasted.
Every tear that's fallen has a purpose and is going to be put to use.
Right now it's like I'm smack-dab in the middle of the book... the anxious chapters where all of the drama happens with plot highs (and lows). Reminding myself of that daily is crucial.
This is NOT the ending.... even though some days I question it and it certainly feels like it.
Some days I honestly just want to sit, quit, and fold my cards because I don't know how in the world I can take one more day of it. I think to myself,
"Oh how much easier to just call it quits. Give up. Move away. Nothing I'm doing is making a difference anyways"
But that's just stupidity (and being human!) Nothing goes away simply because you ignore it.

So yesterday:
was one of those low plot-points in this story.
(when I finally have that book written.... I'll put more in there. This blog: this is just a little window.  A sneak peek into what's going on.  A way to make sure I never get buried again in feeling like I have to hide what's going on in my life or be ashamed of the struggles I've been going through!)
I was frustrated at a phone call.
I let myself get offended and I let my feelings be hurt by words and actions.
..... or rather: inactions.
(because: yes. Whether you agree with me or not... something I've learned is that taking offense and having your feelings hurt is a CHOICE.)

I got upset.
SUPER upset.
I wasn't in a good mindset: I wasn't balanced.
I let myself get caught in the moment.
I stopped trusting the bigger plan.
I had a moment of weakness.
I focused on the short-term why and what if.
I let my brain get stuck on, "this isn't fair! This isn't right!"
I lost my focus that THIS is not the ending. There is a bigger purpose!
When you lose that focus?
....  Things like this happen: you allow yourself (or rather I allowed MYSELF)
to be swept away in the heat of the moment.
I got extremely emotional and upset and mad and sad and frustrated.
I only saw the bad: how is it fair that having Lia is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life but - as it stands now - it's also going to be one of the most difficult times?
I focused on that.
So what did I do?
I took it out on my poor phone.
I didn't want to hear what was coming out of the phone anymore so I slammed it down as hard as I possibly could. In all theories.... it SHOULD'VE shattered beyond recognition by the amount of force I used on it.
.... nope.

Because when I picked it up: guess what? it was still functioning and he was still on the other line.
I was so mad. And at this point all I had accomplished was now not being able to turn it off or hang up.
I don't even remember what was said at the end I was so beyond myself and upset.
So I pitched that phone down the stairs where it promptly met the concrete floor of the basement.
My phone cover shattered into approximately 48 plastic shards all over.
and I just stood at the top of the stairs feeling incredibly stupid.
I realized: all of my pictures. All of my videos of my kids are on there.....
Then I wanted to just sit and cry some more because I was so mad at myself.

But that's when I heard a sound.
I could see pieces of my phone laying on the ground in the dark basement.
And I couldn't put it together.... where was that sound coming from and what was it?
I slowly started to walk down the stairs and as I got closer I noticed that I was hearing music.
I kept going and bent down to pick up each of the plastic pieces of shattered phone cover before locating the "large" part of my phone.
When I picked it up I realized it was playing my positive hits playlist.
Here's the song that was playing over my shattered, broken phone....
I encourage you to hit play and close your eyes and just listen to this song in its entirety.
It isn't just for me or about me.
It's for everyone who might be going through something right now and you're feeling overwhelmed.
I hope it gives you the same feeling it gave me:



I broke down and sobbed on the steps clutching this broken phone that - no matter how hard it was thrown or how much it came up against.... how shattered it was on the outside...  it refused to quit.
Instead it reminded me of where I should be focused right now.
I sat there on the steps crying listening to this shattered, broken phone continue to play songs that spoke right to my heart.



I realized I want to be like my phone and I'm going to think of it whenever I feel like I can't take any more.
I'm going to remember that no matter how many times you get thrown, smashed, shattered, or broken: you can still find a reason to sing.
You can still find a reason to have hope.
You can find a way to praise Him in the storm.
...remembering that He's bigger  than anything you might possibly be going through right now.

I hope my $100 lesson helps you a little, too.
(It was $100 because of the cost to replace the phone!)
Remember: whatever you're going through right now.... you're not alone.
You are loved more than you can imagine.
You have a purpose.
What you're going through has a purpose.
This is just the middle of the book: it's not the ending.

Thanks for reading and letting me share my journey: weaknesses and all!
PS - Thank God.... my phone held a charge long enough for me to plug it in and miraculously I was able to download all of the pictures and videos off of it and transfer them to my external hard drive before it turned off.
If you'd like to see the last video I took before this all went down: here it is  <3 

Campfire & The Sleepwalker

I have to start off this post by saying how incredibly grateful I am. Even right now.
Because as you'll read later on...
I had a really, REALLY stupid moment today and it's a miracle I even was able to salvage all of my photos and now be able to share them here with you.

By the way: as I currently type this I am getting the royal treatment. Christopher is brushing my hair and making me "look like a beautiful princess" Ok. That also involves using some eyeshadow which he has chosen the lovely colors of green and purple and is putting all over my face / arms.... so perhaps it looks more like I fell down a flight of stairs!  But that's ok :)  It's dark, I'm not going anywhere, it's relaxing and I SO needed this little special treatment tonight.
Such sweet boys I have. Seriously.
FACT: I would pay somebody equally as much to brush and / or play with my hair as I would for a massage. Does anyone else love it that much?!

So yesterday (Saturday) my mom came over and I made my week 35 vlog / blog.
Then I got some stuff done that needed to be done in the house.
And after the boys got up from their naps it was time to plan out our schedule for the week and have a little outside time enjoying the unseasonably gorgeous weather here while enjoying the beautiful display of fall colors.  I was homesick for Florida yesterday something awful.... I mean nearly physically sick I was missing it so much!  Since I can't exactly just hop in my car and roadtrip down to the ocean I found the next best thing to a Florida beach: a Wisconsin lake!

Here's a little insight: I know someday I'll be moving back to Florida. I know for certain that I am here in Wisconsin for a reason, though, and I'm at peace with being here right now. (Ironic.... I spent my greater childhood just waiting to get the heck out of here and I've come full-circle! Perhaps I should stick it out for once and prosper where I'm planted so I can advance to Stage 2 finally!) The fellowship I've found and the new friends that have been brought into my life, Christopher's school, the doctor we have now.... I couldn't ask for more. But eventually (this is on my dream board!) I want to split my time between Wisconsin and Florida.... with traveling around to other places in between that, of course!


planning the week!

Anyways:
so as you guys know I work from home.
And part of this whole "single mom"  ... ugh. I hate that phrase. Because I'm not exactly "single". Re-term it... "SOLO PARENTING" experience I am having right now has taught me how to be more organized. Now I find myself absolutely loving my calendar on my phone and my daily agenda and all of the whiteboard lists I have around the house.  Each week I get to take an hour of time out and go plan our week.  Otherwise there's NO WAY I'd be able to accomplish work, house, meal planning, blogging, homeschooling, doctor appointments, outings, YMCA.... ummmm.... no. I would be a hot mess!  When I don't have a vision or a plan for my time: it flies out the window!
So I can't complain with the view I had yesterday as I planned our week.

I plopped my butt down onto a lovely patch of soft grass atop a small hill and watched the boys slide down it on their butts and then skip rocks and sticks into the water.
Boats were gliding across the water: pulling the remaining die-hard brave watersport souls across the lake on tubes and skis... blaring tunes.  One in particular made me laugh: 2 guys on tubes being flung around the water to THIS tune!
"Yeah baby she's got it.... I'm your venus.... I'm your FIRE!"

So that was pretty hilarious.  The boys wanted to call their dad.... because they missed him.
When he was in town we all drove out to the lake one night and he spent some time with them skipping sticks and rocks into the water and it reminded them of that evening.
They miss him,

I was peaceful sitting there listening to the waves crash against shore and hearing the boys laugh and play.
Lia was rolling around and kicking me with her little elbows and knees and it made me smile knowing to soak it all up since I won't be feeling any of that in a couple of months!
Then we decided to drive around the lake a little and pick up sticks because the boys really wanted to have a campfire.
(PS - Ryan got FULL of red dirt ... you know... the kind that stains everything? So we had to strip him down and put him in the car and he ended up wearing one of his shirts like a tunic before getting him home to plop him straight into the tub before heading to the grocery store for a late-night s'more run!)

They love the local store here because they have the mini-carts and they get to push them for me.
It's so weird. I remember being little and getting to push the mini carts and feeling oh-so-grown-up!
Then we got back home and we crumpled up some old magazines for fire starters and loaded them into the outdoor chimenea; putting the sticks we'd gathered on top. It only took lighting the paper and ...
VOILA!
Fire!

It was a pretty proud moment. We sat out in lawn chairs around the fire, roasted marshmallows, made s'mores, looked at the stars, then watched videos on my phone about how stars are made (Christopher is very interested in it!) Then Ryan fell sound asleep in the chair and Christopher and I sat out in chairs for 30 minutes watching the coals die down.
Reminded me of living out in Missouri when we would sit around the campfire in the yard....
Made me realize you don't have to be in the middle of nowhere to enjoy the little things like that.
You can be in the middle of the city and it'll still be peace and quiet.

then we went into the house and as I was taking my contacts out in the bathroom Ryan stumbled in mumbling incoherently. Then I watched as he (with both eyes closed) lifted each leg over the side of the tub before sitting cross-legged in there. He was sleepwalking!  I took a video. It was adorable. I took a short video clip of it.

Anyways: about the phone.
So I had a bad moment. I let myself get stressed out an offended and hurt by some stupid words that somebody said.
So what did I do?
.... well. Let's say the phone went sailing.
But you won't even believe what happened afterwards.
It taught me a huge lesson!
I'll do a different blog on that....

Thanks for reading

...... HOMESCHOOLING?!

I know this isn't the "official" video or post on it:
But I hope this gives you a general idea of why we're choosing to to UNTRADITIONAL SCHOOLING.
Yes: the proper vocabulary usage is "nontraditional" ....
 but I like UNtraditional better. Feels a little more.... UNtraditional!

I decided to do this simply because of our lifestyle: not only do we eat and live differently but we also LOVE to travel!
I believe in having freedom. That freedom is what led me to pursue a different career path. How could I do that and then get tied down into a school system where our lives are literally ruled by school's time and calendar year?
How could I saying that our family time is limited because you can only take off so many days / year without being considered truant?
It was just : a crazy double standard to me.
One that I couldn't live by.

Life is so short: why spend most of your precious childhood indoors? I know from personal experience and from watching my own kids that life goes by so fast.
Why miss it? Why not enjoy it?
Why not see a sunny day and be able to take off and go to the beach instead of being tied to a desk (at school or at work?)
I want to be able to show my kids the freedom to design their own life and then teach them the self-discipline necessary to facilitate that.
I want them to know that just because everybody does it or because society says it's "normal"... doesn't mean that you have to follow suit and just go with the flow.
YOU can choose to be different.
YOU can choose your own path.
YOU can design your life.

That's my hope for my kids anyways.
So here's a little sneak peek into what's going on so far!
(PS - we started kindergarten with Christopher in the summer and he's HALFWAY done with the curriculum already!)

Thanks for watching!
and please: know that IF you have your kids in school....
I am in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM trying to make you feel bad!!!!!
No no no!!!!
Homeschooling is NOT for everyone!
This was just a very personal decision. One that I, PERSONALLY, struggled with.
And up until a time ago I thought people who homeschooled were outcast weirdos and homeschooling meant you had to dress them in khakis and bake pumpkin pie all day and never do anything cool.
I had NO idea it was do-able.... much less fun (and rewarding!)
So I wanted to shed light on that.
I completely respect every parent's decision and I absolutely appreciate the respect I get with the decision that I have made!  You all are fantastic.

Trippy Rainbow Relaxation Experience! Office Re-arranging and Weekend Stuff

TIMEHOP:

Aw.... 3 years ago today we were unpacking everything to move into our new house in Niceville, FL.

Christopher decorated Ryan with stickers.

Oh, how I miss Florida and can't wait to move back someday!

So in case you haven't read my blog on it: I'm at WEEK 35 in pregnancy!
Here's how my first night of listening to "Rainbow Relaxation" went.... 
I'm not sure if anybody else has experienced anything like this: but I certainly wasn't expecting it!
Like I said in the video.... this is my brain NOT on drugs. Can you even imagine it if I were?! Oh my gosh. No. Nope. 

Let me recap my "Rainbow Relaxation" experience: 
(if you watch the video below I explain it a little more.... it was....INTERESTING!)
I floated through some violet mist towards 
this beautiful, peaceful, relaxing stream in the middle of nowhere.  I just watched the sparkly blue water until I decided to
stroll across the lush green grass into the green forest where I finally found a beautiful, soft patch of green moss to lay down on.  As I lay on the moss I looked up and saw the 
warm sunshine with it's beautiful rays of warm light just shining down on me. I laid there and felt the warmth on my face and cheeks until I decided to get up and
walk a little until I came to this clearing in the woods filled with orange poppies.  The flowers were so pretty and I just watched them for awhile before finally
floating up into the clouds. 


Today I am re-arranging the office downstairs. 
This cozy house. Oh it's like tetris!
Even though it's 1/3 the size of our old house.... I can't complain because it's exactly what we need right now. And I know we won't live here FOREVER. 
Here's what I repeat to myself:
"be faithful with the little things and you will be made ruler over much"
it's essentially the "prosper where you're planted" philosophy and one of the laws of nature. 
If you want to be given more (bigger, better) then you have to be trusted with what you have first!
.... so that means taking care of this wonderful, adorable, cozy, tiny little house until it one day leads up into taking care of my "dream house"! This right here is just practice.
Plus it's REALLY forcing my creative side to come out as I try to fit everything just right in it's place.


My mom took the boys to the Adventure Center this morning so I could get some stuff done.
Which also included giving myself a fabulous new (NONTOXIC) manicure.
Excuse me.... "jamicure" ;) 
Oh I'm so glad I found these. 
And my  Jamberry consultant. She's so awesome!
Seriously: she's the best. So if you're looking for a place to order these / try these out you have to get them from her!
And I LOVE being able to support moms and wives in business. Doesn't that make more sense than just throwing your money at big corporations like Wal-Mart? 
(PS - I'm cheap. It's no secret. You all know I will hunt down a good deal and I RARELY EVER ever EVER buy anything that's not on clearance or at a discount....
But DON'T buy knockoff nail wraps from a store. They DO NOT come anywhere close. Mine peeled off within 2 days! TOTAL Waste of money!)
So if you haven't tried these yet you can get in touch with her HERE (yay she just got a facebook page going!) to try a sample or place your order (if you click the last link it'll take you straight to her site) She's fantastic!  Her name is Cindell. 
"Like" her page and tell her Sara sent you over.... maybe she'll throw in something extra special ;)


anyways. 

I also took some fun pictures today. I was loving my belly!
I figure I have to treasure and cherish it these last couple of weeks while I still have it because I am going to miss it when it's gone!  She's so peaceful and beautiful and wonderful already. 
I can't wait to meet my princess <3 











Oh.... by the way.
If you've ever gotten completely frustrated by the fact that your kids are just.... AGH!
No attention span. 
They can't play with something longer than 5 minutes.
Every night its 30 minutes to an hour of cleanup that HAS to be supervised by you ending up in disorganized chaos and you wanting to pull your hair out....
then I HIGHLY recommend doing a toy purge and just getting rid of EVERYTHING.
Or.... most of it and only keeping a very very few select amount of educational items.
It's been AMAZING!
More on my entire experience with this later and how exactly it went down.....

but long story short:
the kids play outside for HOURS at a time now and occupy themselves.
They have plenty of outside toys but what did they spend 2.5 hours playing with the other day?
Boxes. BOXES. B-O-X-E-S my friend. Making them into houses, pirate ships, you name it. 
Ahhh but they're so deprived my children :) 
Look at him all happy and stuff. 

Thanks for reading and following along on our family's journey!

35 Weeks Pregnant with Baby #3

Here: let's do a little fun comparison...

here was me at 33 weeks with Christopher, 33 and then 35 weeks with Ryan :) 

(FYI: Christopher was 10 lbs 3 oz at birth and Ryan was 10 days early and 8 lbs 6 oz.... so had he gone full term he would've been very near 10 lbs, too!)

I, personally, do not feel as large as I did with either of the boys! 

I feel much more like how I was at 31 weeks with them. 

Maybe that's because I've been swimming this pregnancy and just feel better in general (not as sore and more energy!) or HOPEFULLY it's an indicator that the little princess is going to be a wee bit smaller in size than those big brothers of hers. 

PREGNANCY STATS:

- weight gain: approximately 15 lbs 

- she is head down and moves A LOT!

- Lia is very scheduled. She moves at certain times. Sleeps at specific times. I feel she is a peaceful baby with a mellow yet adamant spirit. I don't think it's going to be ANYTHING like what I experienced with the boys. She wakes at 4, 7, and 10 pm. Then from around 11:30 / midnight until 7:30 / 8:00 a.m. she is..... sleeping. 

- cravings: none

- cold: FINALLY completely gone

- still swimming (well...who am I kidding....still FLOATING!)  Next week I have us booked for 6 days of swimming. I want to be ready for labor / delivery!

- started drinking my delicious third trimester / labor prep tea and started Evening Primrose Oil regimen more on that here

- NESTED. Got baby's stuff all ready and the complete last of things was ordered for her. 

(batteries for swing, bottles washed and ready, still need to completely pack / re-pack labor bag, though)

I have also started doing some "birth affirmations".  Sounds corny, I know. 

But seriously: when I was pregnant with Christopher and during the labor / delivery I learned a lot about myself. I learned to trust my body instinctively. Prior to this week I tried to take 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes before bed to just silently lay there and think about little baby. Now I'm actively visualizing everything and a good labor. I REALLY want her to come out in a state of peace. I do not want a repeat colic baby like with  Ryan. Kid cried every waking moment and was in a baby carrier between 16 and 22 hours PER DAY for his first 3 months of life. The doctors actually kicked me out of the ER because he had such extreme colic but there was nothing medically wrong and nothing they could do for me. Yep.  So: I want a peaceful baby and I want to do everything I possibly can to ensure I get one :) 

Anyways. 

I also really want to do this labor / delivery naturally. 

I just think: why not.

I mean: I won't kick myself if I end up with an epidural or something comes up.

I just really feel I want to try out this whole self-affirming hypno thing I'm trying out. 

Harnessing the inner warrior goddess of untapped potential. 

Ok - not that extreme. But: you get it ;) 

I just had such a beautiful experience when Christopher came out and it's a memory I'll remember forever and ever and ever just absolutely imprinted on my heart.

With Ryan? Yeah. I didn't have that. 

And I want it again.

Anyhow. Off to bed for me and the munchkin.

Tomorrow's plans: working online on my site and getting everything set up so after I have her I can easily transition back into working from home with the right foundation.

Then you all can follow my post-baby body journey! (or whatever you want to call it!)

Thanks for reading and following along my journey. 

You might also be interested in:

-- Name Reveal

-- 34 weeks (baby #2)

-- 35 weeks (baby #1) Oh my gosh.... I can't believe how different I am now!  I was so ....shy back then! PS - DO NOT USE THAT LAUNDRY DETERGENT FROM MY VIDEO! AGHHH!!!

.....how little I knew then.  WWW.NONTOXICDIVA.COM 

Feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you'd like!

It's where I put out new videos, random life moments, updates.... etc. 

Pretty much anything going on and then I organize them into playlists.

Been vloggin' since 2009! Can't believe how much things have changed since then....